CTV Toronto reporter Naomi Parness has signed off the air and has moved on to her next assignment: motherhood. While on her maternity leave, she will be filing occasional columns on the experience of this whole new responsibility. Here's her latest: 

I feel guilty even writing this column. But in the past five weeks, I have learned: guilt will accompany me now every day of my life.

To shed some of this guilt, I will start by saying right off the bat -- I love being a mom.

I love my son more than I could have ever imagined, and I am still in shock that this precious human being formed in my body and I carried him around for nine months. Ben and I have special moments every day where I just look at him -- and now that he is older he stares right back at me and smiles -- and it melts my heart.

That being said (and here comes the guilty part), I am going to be brutally honest. This is not really what I expected.

There is very little that's fun about the first few weeks. Sure there are good moments in every day. But there are more moments lately that are extremely frustrating and the truth is being a parent is extremely hard work.

I did not think it would be as hard as it is. I know the first few weeks are the hardest, and everyone told me that before Ben was born. But no one was really honest about HOW BAD it was until AFTER I gave birth.

The first few weeks were amazing... I was running on adrenaline and in complete bliss. But around the fourth and fifth week, reality has started to settle in. And the reality is...my whole life has changed. That's a hard pill to swallow.

The exhaustion is finally catching up to me, and I truly feel as though all I do is breastfeed. My days are filled with repetition: feed, burp, diaper change, play and then sleep.

When he sleeps, I run around in the hour he is sleeping trying to do things around the house.

The other hard thing is that Ben has become a lot more fussy lately. My husband and I have stocked up on books, and advice to deal with it. We have searched the internet reading about gas and colic, and talked to our doctor about dealing with the hours of crying. It can be very frustrating.

Although the books advise structure our doctor says the first few months don't matter and we should just do what makes Ben happy. That too is a comfort...because we don't feel like bad parents when we do things the books say not to do. Like hold him a lot and let him sleep on us.

A contact of mine even sent me a great quote that I think of while I write this: "Do your best...don't worry about the rest." Wise advice that will help us the next few weeks.

The bottom line is the first few weeks of being a new parent are very overwhelming, and I have had several moments of sadness. I have heard this could happen but never thought it would happen to me because I am an extremely happy person. Many people suffer from the "baby blues" and according to Dr. Ariel Dalfen, the author of "When Baby Brings the Blues," about one in five women suffer even more seriously from postpartum depression. That's a big number. The problem is many women suffer in silence because they feel guilty. And they shouldn't.

Although I don't have postpartum depression, I can see how easily it can develop. Women who do feel this way should not be ashamed, because it's normal. Instead they should seek help. I am lucky to have a big support system including an amazing husband, family and many other mommy friends -- but so many women don't have that.

The amazing thing is the minute I opened up to my mommy friends I discovered they all felt the same way. I have learned that many of my friends cried the first few months...for no apparent reason. I have learned that some even dreaded having a second child because they didn't want to go back to the first few weeks again. And I have learned that many even resented the life change and felt resentment towards their babies. And all of these feelings are NORMAL.

So although I feel guilty admitting this is not always the happiest time in my life, I also feel normal saying it. I know it will get better. I hope any other mom going through this will find comfort in knowing that every mom has felt that way too. It's a huge job...and I have a whole new admiration for moms for just making it through the first few weeks.

To all those moms: Happy Mother's Day. I am so emotional and excited to be celebrating my first Mother's Day! I have never looked up to moms as much as I do now ... in fact, moms and dads should be honored every day. It truly is the hardest job out there. And there's nothing wrong with admitting that.

Read Naomi's previous columns: