CTV Toronto reporter Naomi Parness has signed off the air and has moved on to her next assignment: motherhood. While on her maternity leave, she will be filing occasional columns on the experience of this whole new responsibility. Here's her latest: 


I may be nearing my 30s but my life is once again about firsts. And let me tell you -- it's a good place to be. Even though some of the firsts are what I call "bad firsts," there's always something to be learned from each new experience. In the past few weeks all three of us have been experiencing new firsts -- starting with Ben.

I feel reborn watching my newborn grow. You realize how much there is to learn about the world and how much we take for granted. Most of Ben's firsts really make my day. He smiled! He cooed! He grabbed something! He giggled! He's noticing colours and voices and certain people.

But then there was Ben's first cold. When your kid gets sick it's really the worst thing in the world, and I'm not sure who suffers most - the kid or the parents. You feel helpless watching your newborn struggle to breathe through a stuffed nose. You wish you could take it away from them and give it to you.

What makes it more painful is you hope a cold is the only "bad first" they will ever have. But you are realistic and know sadly there will likely be other "bad firsts" in the years to come. Now we are better prepared for whatever else will come -- flu, sports injuries, heartache and hangover.

I also had a first this week -- I left my son at home with husband and went out for dinner with some friends. I got dressed up, I blow dried my hair. We talked about something other than my son's sleeping and feeding habits. I felt like a different person.

And I realized two things: I felt guilty and selfish for going out and I need to do it more often.

It's amazing how women put in their all raising their kids but still feel guilty taking a few hours for themselves. I talked about it with my friends on that evening out. I was upset because I missed Ben's bath for the first time, and I didn't put him to bed. But he survived. And so did I.

Which brings me to number two. It's time to do some things for myself. You lose a little of yourself when you have a child, but you are a better mother for getting it back. I have started to work out again and feel happier, rejuvenated.

Now to my husband's first. This will be his first Father's Day. I have to say - fathers don't get enough credit. A new father gets two questions: How is your wife? How is the baby?

As my husband pointed out, its rare for people to ask the father "how are you?" Fathers often get the raw end of the stick, but they shouldn't. I am lucky to be surrounded by amazing fathers, including my own, my father-in-law, grandfather, and uncles. And now my own husband.

He's a gem. I would not have gotten through the first few months of motherhood without him. We are a real team. He really helps me with everything when it comes to our son and in some ways he does even more than I do.

He gets up with us at night, we do bath time together, and he is madly in love with his son. And I am madly in love with watching him with our son. I never thought I could love my husband more. But I do. He and many other fathers deserve more credit. They have to put up with hormonal crazy wives and a new baby. And their lives change too.

So, even though I can't drink because I am breastfeeding, here's a toast to all the fabulous fathers out there. They deserve to be celebrated and honoured not just on Father's Day but every day.

And may we all celebrate the firsts in our lives ... including seeing the world for the first time again through our children's eyes.


Read Naomi's previous columns: