CTV Toronto reporter Naomi Parness has signed off the air and has moved on to her next assignment: motherhood. While on her maternity leave, she will be filing occasional columns on the experience of this whole new responsibility. Here's her latest: 

We reached the three month milestone. Our parent friends always talked of that blissful time, saying "don't worry it gets easier at three months." And in some ways they were right. We are still having sleeping problems but that's for another entry.

Aside from that, Ben is no longer a newborn baby -- he's becoming a little boy. Every day he changes and becomes even more fun to be around. He grabs things, he's curious about the world, he recognizes people now (not just me), and he spends his day looking around and watching our every move.

And I spend the day in awe of how much he is growing and changing. He is better in the car (he was the only baby who hated the car), he is better when we go out (he did only like being home before), and he is great around people. I might be biased but I have to say: he's a great baby.

But as he becomes more of a person and as I get used to this new life as a mother, a funny thing has happened. I am more sure of who Ben is - and less sure of who I am.

When you become a parent you lose a part of yourself --but gain a whole new life.

Before having Ben I was finally starting to figure out who I was as a person and my life had finally come together personally and professionally. Then everything changed. I went from being a busy career woman to a busy woman at home with a human being who completely relies on me 24/7 and will in some way for the rest of his life.

Now I find I have entered a journey of self discovery again. I don't know who I am anymore because much of who I am now centres around someone else. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade my new life with Ben for anything.

It's not about going back to the way things used to be. Sure I would love to just run out for an errand, or work out when I want. But then I wouldn't have Ben. The answer is to find a way to merge my old life with my new one.

It's about reinventing yourself, which is hard to do and I know will take time. I am slowly trying to find my way in my new skin.

Part of the problem for me is learning how to slow down. I have talked in previous columns about how motherhood isn't exactly what I expected...and I'll say it again. I don't want to sound like I am complaining because believe me I know how blessed I am to have a healthy child.

But here's what I have learned from myself, my friends, and my own mom: most moms are happy being mothers and they love their time with their children. But many don't love what's happened to them right away. Too much has changed and that takes time to get used to -- if they do ever get used to it. For me it all centres around the fact that I am used to being extremely busy. Physically and mentally. I am the type of person who was never home before - even on weekends - and my mind was always busy being stimulated at work or through my various volunteer or hosting duties.

Now I am home A LOT and my only mental stimulation comes from a three-month-old whose only response to my constant chatter during the day is a smile or a coo or a grunt. Trying to entertain Ben all day is busy and tiring but it's a different busy than I am used to.

So I have to be brutally honest and admit that at times, I am bored.

Now that doesn't mean I want to go back to work early -- that's not the solution. What I need to do is find a way to be busy in my new life. I again have found comfort in knowing many of my friends have felt the same way around the three-month mark.

There really is only so much you can do with a three-month-old before you need some adult stimulation.

Once I realized I was feeling this way I immediately began to make changes. I joined mommy groups, I am getting out more, and I am spending more time seeing friends and their babies. I am also doing more for myself to keep my mind busy. I am going out more with my husband and my friends and I am working out more. I am doing my best to find a new busy that works with my new life - and already I am feeling better.

The whole experience reminds me of the title of one of the books I now read to Ben. It's a Dr. Seuss classic called "Are You My Mother." I myself don't really know who Ben's mother is right now. But I do know finding out will be part of a lifelong journey, and just when I think I have figured it out, the emotional rollercoaster called motherhood will have another thrill coming that will throw me off and have me searching for the answer to who I am once again.

Read Naomi's previous columns: